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What if I Fail? What if I Succeed?

Fear of success and failure are the same coin, flip sides. One side says I am terrified of failing, the other of succeeding. The bottom line? The fear trauma put in us. This fear causes low self-esteem and how we see ourselves. When hurt, our fears grow and accumulate. We agonize because we are trying to get through, survive, and succeed in life.

Fear of failure. I was terrified of failure. When I failed, I knew someone would degrade me, beat me up, punish me, and never let me forget what a failure I was. This fear made me so shy that I could not talk to people. I learned to lie, not to be discovered, and protect myself.

Fear of success. We often fear success because we know we are not successful and carry guilt and shame deep inside ourselves. We learn to pretend and look successful in school, family, and work but not be genuine. It often covers up for all the pain inside. If I became successful, I knew one day, someone would find out I was a failure. Then, I would be worse off than I was. Basically, if someone knew who I really was….

This fear coin causes intense low self-esteem, which we struggle through until we heal. To handle this fear, we may overachieve, have social anxiety, sabotage anything that would look successful in relationships, finances, conditions of living, care of self, etc.

Often, we were taught we could not succeed. This is an absolute lie. We can heal and overcome! Fears must be felt, healed, and transformed to create empowerment and success.

  1. What fears do you have?
  2. Do you sabotage yourself? How?
  3. Are you ready to change these fears to empowerment? If so, feel them and push through the fear. Make different choices.

Note: As we heal and push through the fears, they release!

I am Dr. Donna LaMar, PhD psychologist and speaker. I invite you to heal, gain freedom and wisdom. www.traumahealing777.com. Please share to help others heal.

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