Shame and Its Trauma
Shame is part of the trauma experience. It says something is wrong with me. Guilt is when I did something wrong. Shame is I am the wrong. Shame is deep, dark and lays over our spirit. It affects our personalities, choices, work, relationships, abilities, and accomplishments like our unique purpose, ability to love and be loved, self-esteem, etc. It affects everything in our lives.
When abused, neglected, hurt, degraded, scapegoated, unloved, unwanted, etc., we are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually raped. This rape lays evil’s darkness over our spirit or soul, stealing our essence.
Shame’s darkness constantly tells us we are the shame, worth nothing, never be okay, loved, or wanted. It says to hide, pretend, be someone else because we will never be okay. Shame has a depression sometimes so dark we become suicidal. For me, the shame felt deep, old, hopeless, and full of despair.
Shame is often passed down from one generation to the next. It was in my family. My being the scapegoat in the family was the carrying of shame. I felt worthless, poor of spirit, wrong, and disrespected.
Healing comes from God. I have learned a lot about healing, and can help people in many ways. Shame, however, must have God’s touch for us to heal and become free. All we have to do is ask God to heal us. Even if you do not believe in Him, He believes in you and will come to you, His child, and help you heal. Keep healing. God will take the chains of shame off and help you become free.
The shame is not you. It is the evil’s darkness that was done to you. When we feel shame, we condemn ourselves as terrible, bad, awful. We believe everyone, especially God, also condemns us. We have little hope of ever escaping the darkness and seeing light. The Bible says God does not condemn us. He loves us and wants us healed and free.
- Explore and feel your deeper feelings of the shame’s old darkness. Follow the three rules outlined in a previous post.
- Write about your journey of shame.
- Ask God to take the chains of shame off you. Again, You don’t have to believe in God. He loves and believes in you.
I am Dr. Donna LaMar, PhD psychologist and speaker. I invite you to heal, gain freedom and wisdom. www.traumahealing777.com Please share so it can help others heal.
