Rejection and Holidays
When rejected, holidays often become painful, lonely, and beyond what we can endure. We see all the lights, joy, happiness, and families and KNOW everyone else has the blessings of the holidays, but not us. We see everyone going to parties and ourselves not invited or belonging. Or we make an excuse not to go. Inside of us, we know we are rejected, not wanted, and not valued.
Our mindset, i.e., brain programming, is that we see everything as awful, full of sorrow, and rejecting. We use the mindset sometimes as a protection to try to keep pain away from us. What do we do with this? Us? How can we possibly combat it?
First, we make a decision to feel all our feelings and feel them fully. Second, we pray, meditate, or process how and why we developed the mindset. Third, we decide to change the mindset. What helps to change our brain is to be thankful for everything –big, little, good, and bad. Lastly, we start giving and helping others. Be patient with yourself. It takes time and often more than one holiday to change.
It is a choice. Will we stay in the sorrow and pain, or will we make a difference in the world? I have chosen the later after having many painful holidays. Giving, helping, and being thankful helps us in powerful ways.
- Journal about your holidays. Feel the feelings that come.
- How and when did rejection change your life around the holidays?
- What can you do differently now?
I am Dr. Donna LaMar, PhD psychologist and speaker. I invite you to heal, gain freedom and wisdom. www.traumahealing777.com Please share so it can help others heal.