Find the resources you need to keep the healing process going. Sadly, therapy is expensive and time-consuming. Thank goodness there is insurance to help cover it. But deductibles and co-pays can be overwhelming. Also needed are gas, rides, etc. Often…
Use healthy techniques that do not re-victimize you. In my profession, there are many techniques, approaches, theories, models, etc. They are not all safe. In the previous post, I encouraged you to check out therapists carefully. The same goes for…
In the following posts, I will go over the steps to healing in more detail. First, we have to decide. Next and number one is “What do we do with all those feelings?” The answer? Feel them appropriately! All our…
Who am I, and why am I writing all these blogs about healing? I am a doctor of psychology, a psychologist. I am a trauma specialist with a personal trauma history that I sometimes share if it helps people heal….
Trauma forces us to develop a protection system to help us survive. We use any resources around us to help us to keep safe and not be hurt – people, animals, nature, things, places, and internal walls. We use one…
What is a protection system? We create behaviors, thoughts, and feelings to protect ourselves from the pain of trauma and, if possible, from more trauma. When trauma first happened to us, we were defenseless and blindsided. We learn that to…
This question has haunted philosophers through the ages. Kierkegaard said love should focus on the person being loved first and foremost. Martin Buber said love was something more significant than affect – not a static feeling, but a dynamic state…
The Serenity Prayer reminds us to know the difference between what we can and cannot. The healing journey forces us to examine our choices for change in our lives. Here are areas to remember. Life is hard and, at times,…
We have talked about healing, feelings, and choosing to heal. The healing journey is not easy. Let’s look at what healing can mean to us: When traumatized, we often learn we are not okay and do not like ourselves. We…
We learn from our feelings and take their wisdom to help us make good decisions. We never act on our feelings unless we are in danger. Three are rules to feeling your feeling safely and appropriately: No cutting, hurting, or…
We can HEAL!! First, we must make the powerful decision to heal. We make the decision that we are tired of and no longer want the pain, anxiety, and loneliness and choose not to let anything or any person, including…
When do we need to seek the help of a psychotherapist/counselor? When our lives have been hard, painful, and lonely, we can’t work, want to give up, run away from everything, can’t function, sleep all the time, have poor relationships…