When Old Trauma Pain Surfaces, What Do You Do?
I am having one of those days when no matter what I try to do, it doesn’t work, and I don’t have everything I need, or just plain blocked. I have so much to do, my desk is piled, and I am waiting for the computer people to finish fixing my computer. I am so grateful they can do it online.
Then I noticed I was out of sorts, frustrated, and my anger increased. Frustration is a kissing cousin to anger, so it was no great surprise I became angry. I told myself to stop and figure out what was happening. I took time to feel my feelings and learned from them that some of my old trauma leftovers surfaced. I was a failure because I couldn’t get stuff done and the computer needing fixing must be my fault too!
I felt depression and anxiety (anxiety is fear of the future) building up in me. None of the problems were my fault, but I decided they were. That is my OLD STUFF! It is not my fault, the computer has been acting up and I had it to the store. They said they fixed it. They did not. Not having what I needed, I didn’t know it needed it until now. Not my fault either. Not working fast enough; that is old stuff from other people.
As I acknowledged and accepted the feelings. I forgave myself and others, again. I learn the wisdom my feelings gave me. I choose to trust God with the timing of getting everything done. I decided to be patient, putting in an improved self-care plan. I chose to remember not to beat myself up when things don’t go well. Life is just hard at times.
Here is what you do:
- When sensing things building up – stop and take a deep breath. Allow yourself to catch up with yourself. Eat if you have not eaten, go for a walk, talk to a friend, etc.
- Feel and accept your feelings. See my previous posts on feelings. 4/24, 4/21, 4/26. See the URL below.
- Learn from the feelings what old memories and pain are surfacing. Heal by feeling the leftover feelings.
- Forgive yourself and others.
- Decide to do more self-care. Be patient with yourself and not beat yourself up.
Note: If you have been traumatized and have not done your healing journey, please seek help.
- Has something like this happened to you?
- What did you feel?
- How were they connected to past trauma?
- Were you able to forgive? Who?
I am Dr. Donna LaMar, PhD psychologist and speaker. I invite you to heal, gain freedom and wisdom. Blog www.traumahealing777.com