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When Old Trauma Pain Surfaces, What Do You Do?

I am having one of those days when no matter what I try to do, it doesn’t work, and I don’t have everything I need, or just plain blocked. I have so much to do, my desk is piled, and I am waiting for the computer people to finish fixing my computer. I am so grateful they can do it online.

Then I noticed I was out of sorts, frustrated, and my anger increased. Frustration is a kissing cousin to anger, so it was no great surprise I became angry. I told myself to stop and figure out what was happening. I took time to feel my feelings and learned from them that some of my old trauma leftovers surfaced. I was a failure because I couldn’t get stuff done and the computer needing fixing must be my fault too!

I felt depression and anxiety (anxiety is fear of the future) building up in me. None of the problems were my fault, but I decided they were. That is my OLD STUFF! It is not my fault, the computer has been acting up and I had it to the store. They said they fixed it. They did not. Not having what I needed, I didn’t know it needed it until now. Not my fault either. Not working fast enough; that is old stuff from other people.

As I acknowledged and accepted the feelings. I forgave myself and others, again. I learn the wisdom my feelings gave me. I choose to trust God with the timing of getting everything done. I decided to be patient, putting in an improved self-care plan. I chose to remember not to beat myself up when things don’t go well. Life is just hard at times.

Here is what you do:

  1. When sensing things building up – stop and take a deep breath. Allow yourself to catch up with yourself. Eat if you have not eaten, go for a walk, talk to a friend, etc.
  2. Feel and accept your feelings. See my previous posts on feelings. 4/24, 4/21, 4/26. See the URL below.
  3. Learn from the feelings what old memories and pain are surfacing. Heal by feeling the leftover feelings.
  4. Forgive yourself and others.
  5. Decide to do more self-care. Be patient with yourself and not beat yourself up.

Note: If you have been traumatized and have not done your healing journey, please seek help.

  1. Has something like this happened to you?
  2. What did you feel?
  3. How were they connected to past trauma?
  4. Were you able to forgive? Who?

I am Dr. Donna LaMar, PhD psychologist and speaker. I invite you to heal, gain freedom and wisdom. Blog www.traumahealing777.com

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